Yesterday I took Matthew to the pediatrician for his 2 year well baby check up. I've switched pediatrician's since moving out here but I've already seen him a couple times and like him a lot. This is how our appointment started yesterday.
Dr: How does Matthew have such dark hair and eyes and his mom is a redhead?
Me: My husband is Hispanic. He's from Mexico so Matthew looks more like his dad.
Dr: Is he 100% Mexican?
Me: (thinking that is a weird question) Yes, he grew up in Mexico.
Dr: How did you meet?
Me: At BYU
Dr: Did he come up here for school or was he here before?
Me: (thinking oh where is this conversation going?) He came up here for school.
Dr: It must have been a lot easier for him to come here back then than it would be now.
Me: (Totally confused now) Um, well no, none of the immigration laws to legally enter this country have really changed since my husband came. It might take longer to get into this country now but it wasn't easier back then.
Dr: Oh, so your husband was legal. Well, he married a US citizen so of course he's legal. He was like a real immigrant to this country.
Me: (thinking did you really just say "real immigrant." Are there fake immigrants?) Actually, my husband has never been in this country illegally. He came here on a student visa.
Dr: Oh, really? Oh, okay. So do your kids speak Spanish?
I honestly do not think the doctor meant to be rude or prejudice or anything. He's just ignorant on how someone legally immigrates to our country. Or he was just overly curious about David's legal status. Six months ago I had a very similar 30 minute conversation with my neurologist as he was performing a nerve test on my arms. That one included his opinions on Hispanic male culture that he saw while in residency in Houston, Texas. He was fascinated as I explained how David first came to this country and all the legal ways someone could stay here, live here and work here. Again I don't think he meant to sound as bad as he did. I've had lots of these types of conversation. Some with complete strangers. Most of these conversations have not offended me or hurt my feelings at all. But does everyone think my husband came to this country illegally? Everyone who has been brave enough to ask me about David coming here has made the mistake of assuming he first came illegally and then became legal when we got married.
So I'm giving my blog readers a free lesson in immigration.
Lesson #1: There really are legal immigrants in the United States.
Now I could bore you to death with what those ways are. And I'm very familiar with many of them. I have done all of David's immigration process myself plus several others. All that is talked about on the immigration political platform is about illegal immigrants and what to do with them. There are lots of illegal immigrants, don't get me wrong. But nobody mentions that not all immigrants fall into that category and many of them are here legally.
Lesson #2: David didn't become a U.S. citizen just by marrying me.
There is a lengthy (it tooks us almost 6 years) and very expensive process that involves lots of forms, paperwork, medical exams, fingerprinting, interviews and stress.
Now I don't want to start a political immigration conversation. Really I don't...rather I just wanted to give you the chance to laugh at my poor pediatrician also.
7 comments:
hahaha, ok, I should not be laughing, but I just can't help it. Probably because I know how you feel! I'm amazed at how so many people come across prejudice or offensive even if they don't know they are doing it. When we first got married we always got lots of questions about whether or not Udine was legally here. He'd just say "I only married her to get my green card" hahahaha Anyway, it is a long, expensive and horrible process to come here legally, I will agree with you on that!! Do you ever get the question "Does he speak english? Can you understand him very well?" I've gotten that one many a time. Seriously people? Anyway, thanks for your story...it made me chuckle....(only because I understand.) :)
What? David is not an illegal alien?!?!?!?
hahahaahha i've had the same conversation PLENTY of times...amazed at how many people are ignorant about stuff like this...but not only here but in my country too...i just came back from Chile and even a friend of mine thought that i had been illegal while i was waiting for my work visa for 7 months...i was happy to clarify that I HAD NEVER BEEN ILLEGAL in this country...
same with carlos they think he was born here 'cause they can't conceive that he came as a resident when he arrived to the us and that's how he has his citizenship now...sigh!!
stuff like this are funny and sad at the same time! idiots!! (not meant to offend anyone...i just like the word :P)
hey there. I am just a passerby.. (friend of Amy Barnes) and started reading your blog.
I just have to say sorry. I know you're not looking for any kind of sympathy but seriously, people can be so rude. I saw your picture (on the left) with your husband and my first thought was, wow, they look so happy in love. Didn't even really notice the difference in cultural looks. anyway, you go girl...for being strong enough to face the rude people in this world without coming away angry every time. and your children are simply ADORABLE my dear.
Seriously, though. I don't think David is 100% Mexican. Maybe 65% at best. He doesn't even like flan! :)
Jeff, He doesn't like tamales either so that brings it down to perhaps 40%.
and he likes betos so that would put him at a 10% mexican lol!
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